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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Ramu Plans A Movie On Veerappan

So, Ram Gopal Varma is planning a film on Veerappan. Ramu had actually planned to direct the film himself and was quite thrilled at the prospect of painting the screen red with blood. His sound engineer was even more thrilled at the thought of being able to post on Hindi screen, the evergreen Tamil war cry: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII"!!! But that was before Ramu met up with Veerappan's missus, Muthulakshmi.

Ramu, says Birdie, asked Muthulakshmi some basic questions, in order to make sure that the life of Veerappan really merited a Ram Gopal Varma treatment. These are the questions he asked (and the answers he got):

Ramu: Did Veerappan become a bandit because his dad was killed, caught in a crossfire between underworld goons and Mumbai cops?

Muthulakshmi: No.

Ramu: I hear it was Veerappan's friend, and not the police, who killed him. Is it so?

Muthulakshmi: No.

Ramu: Did Veerappan address his fans from his balcony?

Muthulakshmi: No. He lived in trees.

Ramu: Ok. Ahem… Did he have this habit of running through narrow lanes, with a sword in his hand?

Muthulakshmi: (smiles) No.

Ramu: Last question. Does Veerappan have a look-alike son who is as tall and at least half as popular as him?

Muthulakshmi: (frowns) I am sure that is your last question. NO!

Birdie says Ramu left the place crestfallen at the “unappealing” Veerappan tale. On his way back, he asked one more question to his assistant before assigning the megaphone to Prashant Pandey: "Tell me, my friend. I am sure Veerappan shot Rajkumar on the leg, before letting him go…Please say 'Yes'!"

The answer, again, was No!

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